Injured

Yesterday, I had rehearsal with my improv group.

I haven't really felt "on" in rehearsals, but have let it slide because I view it like class, and told myself that class is the place to fail.

Yesterday, though, we discussed the next show. The one I would be eligible for. Turns out, unlike in the old company, this show won't be precast ahead of time. Now, we have to bring in characters, and audition them against one another.

I must admit, I feel slightly intimidated by them. They are all really confident, skilled, and hilarious improvisers.

I'm sure I just need to relax and trust myself, but it is a bit daunting.

Then, today, I went for the big run.

My group meets on Sundays and we run long miles. Today was set for six. I really wanted to do this.

Got out of work late last night. Didn't get home until 1am and then I set my alarm for 6am. Couldn't fall asleep, and ended up getting very little sleep.

Still, I got up. I am dedicated. I want to do this.

Got with my group, and we started to run. I felt great.

At mile 2, my knee started to act up.

I had had a bit of trouble with my knee. Little soreness. Then, the other day in one of my short maintenance runs, it hurt more, and for longer.

The next time I ran, I paid attention to it, and thought I had corrected it by increasing my stride. My knee didn't hurt that run.

Today, when I started to feel it, I tried to just increase my stride, and fully flex.

Wasn't working.

My knee seemed to get worse. The others were telling me to stop, but I downplayed the pain.

At almost mile 3, I couldn't anymore. I stopped running, and walked. The group walked with me, but they wanted to run. They decided to not do six - moral support for me- but they did run home. I walked.

I felt terrible.

I really wanted to do six.

I really want to be able to do this marathon.

I really can't afford an injury. Not now.

I was angry, and hurt, and embarrassed.

I was also walking with a terrible limp, and it was a long walk.

I felt lonely.

Then, I saw something that still makes me smile.

JP, the young guy that runs with us, was walking back towards me.

He came to walk with me. I couldn't believe how sweet that was.

We joked and walked back to the house we started at. I tried to get in my car and just leave, but he said the girls would be inside waiting to see me. They were.

TO made me an ice pack and told me to see a doctor, and maybe get a knee brace.

Then I came home.

My knee still hurts, and I limp and have trouble bending it.

Grrrrr.