Dear Lord

It's me.

I am up at 6:30am on a Sunday.

That's your time, right?

I haven't seen this hour AFTER sleeping in quite some time.

Lord, I am about to go run.

Three miles, Lord.

They say that isn't a much, but I am not very in shape.

Lord, please help me with this task.

Don't allow me to cry at mile two.

Don't let the wee bit of coffee I've had kick into my bowels until I'm done running.

Don't let me sweat and wheeze like the old, ridiculous man that I am.

Do let me conduct myself with manly respect. For once in my life.

Do let the girl that I am obviously insane for recognize that I am obviously insane for her.

Do strike down her boyfriend. Ok, I don't mean that one. Just give him a temporary but disgusting rash.

Do let me get more out of this than I intend, and all that I intend.

I promise to go to church if you do. If you hook me up with the girl, I'll even bring her! That's a twofer Lord!

Do what is best Lord. What I believe is best. Let this wacky scheming life turn into a payoff.

Oh, and world peace, and all that. You know.

Thanks.

Amen.