On Today

Well. A year ago today was the day X and I sat down and said we felt the relationship was over.

I remember that day feeling excited, and scared, and occasionally bursting into tears.

I thought I was doing the right thing, but I worried that letting her go would be too tough on me. She was my best friend.

I was right. It was too tough on me.

I was wrong. She wasn't my best friend.

Last night, I performed another show with the folks who do the murder mystery show. This time, we did a wedding show.

I played the uptight father of the bride. I wore a tux with tails, had little glasses on, a cigarette in a long stem filter, and carried a pitching wedge.

One of the cast members said I looked like Mr. Peanut.

That was a great image for me actually, and I went with it.

Had a great time.

There was a new girl who was playing the slutty Italian cousin of the groom.

She was hot. Also, sweet. And only 27.

We two were the new people, so she stuck by my side. I felt my charm naturally kick into high gear.

At one point, sitting at the head table, I put my arm around her, and she turned to me, and said, are you flirting with me?

I played it off.

Then, later I grabbed her to dance. A slow song. It felt so good to hold a woman. She told me I was quite the dancer, and she didn't see that one coming.

We realized that none of the other cast was dancing, and she got uncomfortable, so we stopped.

Then, loading the van to head back home, she mentioned she got a call from her boyfriend.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Still, that moment of feeling her soft body against mine. Worth it.

Today I feel excited, and scared, and will probably occasionally burst into tears.