The recipe

How to make pure comedy gold.

First take some pain.

As I said, about a month ago, I told X that I felt we shouldn't have any contact for the summer at least. She was getting to a too comfortable place being single with me, and I needed space.

Mix in some panic.

Yesterday, I went to go see my therapist. As I arrived, she was arriving too. I said, what timing.

She said, what are you doing here?

I looked confused, said, this is my normal time slot.

She said, oh my gosh, I double booked this time. OH MY GOSH, I double booked it with X.

She hurried me inside to a secret room like I was the POTUS and there was a sons of Iran convention going on.

She said, we should figure out if I could do another time. I said, let's just do next week, and I will get out of here.

I felt nervous. I wanted more than anything to just leave.

She made me stay while she checked that their was no mistake. Finally, she said she was sorry and next week she wouldn't charge me. I just said, let me get out of here.

I walked out into the parking lot, headed to my car, and heard a car behind me, trailing slowly.

It was X. Of course.

I slapped on my game face, and went over to say hi.

She said, I'm sorry. Right off the bat.

I said, hi how are you how you doing.

We mumbled things like that for a moment, and then her cell went off. I was our therapist.

I went to my car. As I backed out, she was right there.

I asked how she was. She shrugged.

I asked if she had graduated. She said yes. I said congrats. She said it was a rough day.

She then started to cry.

I can feel people's pain. Like a gamma ray emanating off of them. Then, when they cry, it gets stronger, and I am compelled to help them.

Only, this one I can't. It hurts me. However, not helping also hurts. I stammered that I had to go. She nodded. I wanted to say something to make it all better, but I said bye.

Driving home, I panicked.

I hadn't had a panic attack in a long time.

I didn't know who to call. I felt I had nobody to call.

Of my three best friends out here, one is at his busy new job, one I had just left rehearsing his big night, and one told me the other day he isn't sure we are friends.

The wife, I was sure was helping her hubby go over his calmness.

The BGR just broke up with his boy, and isn't in the I can make YOU better place yet.

Ain't no girl to lean on.

I had nobody.

Then, I called my folks. Hoping to get dad. Got mom.

Started out with, hey, just need to talk to someone. Kind of having a crazy day.

She could only hear every other word. Cell phones!

She yelled, take care of yourself.

Hung up.

So, I popped in a fav CD, and started to punch the passenger seat. Harder and harder, over and over.

I can't tell you how much this helps and how much this is the go to response these days.

By the time I got home, and re called the mom to calm her, I had an idea. A new sketch.

I sat down and within a few moments, I had the entire thing written.

This was supposed to be my tough week for finding time to write.

Thank god my life is just crazy enough that comedy comes around every turn.