Assess

Relationships.

Like holding a tornado in a bottle.

Never easy. Not always rewarding.

I would love one.

I think about the upcoming summer, and I would really like to share something deeper with someone during this season.

I have always loved summer. I prefer hot to cold, so summer was my time.

Some of the greatest memories I have occurred during summer. Things I wish to do this summer are things I would love to do with another.

Whether that is in the cards is anyone's guess. It is extremely tough to meet someone out here. Even tougher if you want something deeper than an occasional fling and good time.

BM just told me tonight that he got dumped last night. He doesn't seem happy. Who would be?

Tough. A week ago I was saying how giddy and happy he was. Now it is ended. Not his choice, but if one person says no, what can the other do?

I wrote about the other night when I was talking to that girl. I could see as I shared my deep thoughts and feelings, that they were having an impact. I could see her start to care more about me. I see it with anyone I open up to. I mean really open up to.

It is human. Emotion is attractive. It is also repellent. I guess it is a force.

Anyway, as I was opening up, I thought, well this is what it takes. Just lay on the line your thoughts and feelings, and their power will do the job.

The thing is though, there are plenty of people I know who I wouldn't share those feelings with. People I have known a long time. Feelings are the chinks in our armor, and can only be handed over to those who will tenderly care for them.

So, you can't just walk out the door and meet someone and tell them your thoughts and all will work out.

You have to meet someone who you trust with your thoughts. Hopefully they are someone you are attracted to. Hopefully they are attracted to you. Hopefully they tell you their thoughts and both of you don't find the other crazy for them. Hopefully after achieving all of that, you still desire to spend any amount of time together in a week. Then a month. Then three months. Then six. Then a year. Then three years. Then five. Then it gets hard.

I would like someone for the summer. I would love if it went on beyond that, but I would like someone for the summer.

Sometimes, I just can't see that happening.