This is # 250

Quite a lot of posts.

So many issues tackled here.

So much weighed and debated.

Serious shit.

Just not today.

Went to therapy yesterday.

We talked about girls.

You see about a month ago, I told X that I couldn't take anymore contact from her. I wasn't feeling comfortable with the level of friendship ease that she seems to have gotten to. It was always an emotional mess whenever I saw her.

So, I asked her to please give me the summer alone.

My therapist wanted to know how that was going. I said it seemed to be going well. I didn't really ever think about her, and I didn't regret asking for that.

Then, my therapist wanted to know how things are going with TO. I told her that things were about the same. I'm crazy dreaming, she is with BF. Literally. Paris, eh.

My therapist said that no matter the outcome (getting together, never getting together), I should learn the lesson. What is the lesson that the universe is trying to tell me?

I thought about that one. At first, I wanted to say that I've learned the criteria for the next woman I want to be with.

But the truth is I learned that when I broke up with X.

The criteria a girl must possess is:

Laughter.
Respect for my acting.
Common interests.
Joy of life.
Ambitions.
Values.
Tenderness.
Affectionate.

Then, I thought what it is that I've learned from TO.

I got it.

You see, when I broke up with X, there was one highlight to the whole mess. A hook I could hang my hope on.

You see, I always was bothered by the fact that X (who seemed to be the girl for life at the time) was only # 9.

That is, she was the ninth girl I had slept with.

I had always wanted to get to double digits.

I didn't think it would happen, cuz we were married.

Then, we broke up, and it now seems a sure thing I will at least get to #10. Still, that's double digits.

The thing is, most of my friends are like in the thirties.

Modern times, huh.

I don't need to get there, but double digits is almost a requirement.

So, I will get double digits. That is a fact.

The thing I learned though, is that I not looking for sexual conquests. I really want to meet the "one".

Not that I believe there is only one, but you know what I mean.

Somehow, thinking of a possible future with TO has made me realize that I'm not out to score, I'm out to be serious and settle down.

So, whether that happens with her or not, that is what I know about myself now.

Off track here, but last night at work I sat down with a guy and my manager for a couple of drinks after the shift.

They were talking about a show at the Geffen theatre that is getting huge rave reviews. I said I would love to see it, and when my manager said you better hurry, it closes soon, I said I have no time to see it.

I told her that I am constantly going. I work Mon, Wed, Sat, Sun nights. I assist Tues, and Thurs nights. I work Fri afternoon, and do my show Fri night. I rehearse Sat afternoon, and have class Sun afternoon. Plus, Mon and Wed and Thurs afternoons I usually have to write for my class.

I have no time.

My manager said she knew that. She said it shows. She said she noticed that I am tired and stressed.

She told me to take a day off. From everything. Go to the beach. Go to dinner.

I told her I need to get laid.

She said go to Vegas. That would be both a day off, and for a price, getting laid.

Ha.

Still, I keep thinking about her saying it shows.

I got up this morning to write my sketch that is due Sun. I wrote half a page and hate it, so I turned to the web and this blog.

I would love to take the day off. I would love to lay on the beach and just girl watch, or better yet...

Eh.

Someday.