The End is Nigh

Got an email from X today.

I had told her about two months ago that I needed space, and not to contact me. She respected that.

Then, about 3 weeks ago, we ran into each other in the parking lot, and it was mucho weird.

Two weeks ago, I had to drop off a check at her house, and saw that she was there. So, to put things a bit more even keel, I knocked at her door, and we sat and talked. Simple chit chat. It was pleasant. I felt like we were in a better place.

Then, she emailed me. She wants to finish the paper work and finally end our marriage. She said it was weird to talk to me, and have me leave, and then realize that she was married to me.

Part of the reason we split up is that both of us respect the idea of marriage, and we didn't want what we were making to be our realization of that ideal. So, to that end, we are still degrading the idea of it by casually remaining married.

I agree, but it is hard.

I hate to admit it, but it really bugs me that she was able to get over it, and get better so quick. She did it better than I.

I am actually fine with ending the marriage. I think I was avoiding it more because of the tons of paper work than anything else really. Also, if things could work out, or had worked out, with TO, I'm sure there wouldn't really be much of a bother about X's progression.

Still. I guess I'm human. Frail. Emotional.

I think also I'm going to make a change here. I am no longer going to refer to her as X. I did it partly as a joke in the beginning, but now it doesn't read so funny. Plus, if we are truly moving into just a friendship, then I should follow precedent and refer to her like my other friends.

So, from now on she's NB.

Just NB.