I Have The POWER

I must say, I feel great.

Running has really helped me. It has given me strength.

When I ran on Sunday, my lungs burned, I couldn't talk, and all day Sunday and Monday, my legs felt wobbly and abused.

When I ran on Tuesday, I did a better run walk ratio, I didn't get the burn in my lungs, I could talk, and by mid afternoon Tuesday, my legs were fine.

Wednesday, every time I walked, it felt like I was on top of these steel machines that were pile driving into the ground and taking me where I wanted to go.

When I ran on Thursday, I almost ran the entire thirty minutes. No walking, almost. I did a 15:1 ratio. I felt great afterwards. My legs recuperated almost immediately.

Walking around last night, I felt like a king. Add to all of this the fact that I still do my pushups and crunches before showers, and I feel something in my body that has never been there.

Strength.

I feel lean, and strong, and dare I say, sexy.

It feels great.

Today is a big day.

Tonight, I will perform the last of my improv soap operas.

The shining light in my life for the past 13 months ends tonight.

It is bittersweet.

I will get back to the format in August with the main company, but it will never be this show again, which is a looser, freer format.

Also, I could use a bit of a rest. Those words will most likely haunt me in about two weeks, when I feel like a rest is useless.

I have marveled at my growth over the four seasons.

At first, I was just trying to have fun and not be nervous.

Then, I tried to stretch myself and really put in some acting chops.

Then, I tried to just command my presence on stage and be ME up there. Allowing ME to be funny, as I am.

Then, I tried to move plot. Not always be the shining star on stage, but to be the supportive advancer of story for my fellow actors.

And tonight, it comes to a close.

I would really like for someone to acknowledge all of that. And no, R and K, I don't mean you.

I'm going to go and have fun, but I'll wager there is a tear in my eye when it is all said and done.

Got some news last night.

My spy in the house of love, BB, sat me down after his show to let me know something.

He said he had spoken to TO earlier that night.

Her BF is back from Paris, and he asked how things were. She said fine.

Later, she asked him if it looked like she had been crying. He said no, and asked why she had been crying.

She said she didn't want to talk about it. He said you brought it up.

She then asked him if he thought she was high maintenance. He said no, and asked her who told her that.

She wouldn't answer. He repeated that she was not high maintenance.

He predicts a swift demise. He said he is altering his timetable that he had told me, and bumping it up some.

When I was running on Thursday, trying to run the whole way, I would trick myself into going further before letting myself walk.

I would say, get to the end of the fence and you can walk then.

I would get to the end of the fence, and then say to myself, get to that truck and then you can walk.

Then, get to that stop sign, then get to the turn in the path. Always something just a bit further ahead.

At one point, I said get to the corner. Turn the corner. I was really breaking down, and had been doing this trick for a bit, so I knew that this was the final one.

Let me turn the corner, God, I yelled. Let me turn the corner.

Then, I expanded the concept.

Let me turn the corner, God, both here and with TO. Let me turn the corner.

I believe what I was saying was, let something either happen now, or let me get over this. I'm a bit tired of the pining away game. Let me turn the corner, God. Let me turn it now.

Maybe God heard.