The Ending Finally Came

When I started this blog, I let a few people read it. Emotionally mature people who would understand the pain and humor I was expressing. Also, people who were out of town, so that my constant thoughts didn't get thrown back in my face constantly.

The exception was KK. I figured I would let him read it for two reasons. One, he is as neurotic as I am, so I figured he would get it. Two, I thought maybe we could turn this into something. That's Hollywood for you. "Hey, that hurts! Let's make some money!"

He was taking a writing class, and seriously, I have always thought we would be good at collaborating. He started to read this, and actually pitched the idea to me as well. I hadn't told him my intention, so it was great to hear him have the same idea independently.

As this past year went on, KK always told me about the highlight moments, what would make the script. Soon, he began to realize the fatal flaw in our plan... there wasn't an ending.

You see, life doesn't end neatly. Well, the stories in life don't. Life ends, but then what good is it.

We were always looking for an ending.

Yesterday, he said we got it.

The arc of the story is me losing my marriage, my mind, and then rebuilding. A big part of the rebuilding and making the "me" whole is my chasing after a girl who I can't have. I work on myself to try and get her, all the while bettering myself, but never getting her.

Running is part of that.

Then, I lose it. I lose the running, and the girl. The end.

He told me that last night. It felt awful because in a way, it is true. Even after our lunch yesterday, last night felt awkward with TO. Her boyfriend was there, and she just latched onto him. I had brought some CD's for her, and she thanked me, and left.

My whole waiting in the wings distaste hit me hard. It killed my mood last night. KK may well be right. I lost.

No running. No girl. Just an ending.

Some how, I'm not as thrilled as I thought I might be when the ending finally came.