Primal Fear

My primal man wants woman feelings are still in high gear.

Tonight at work, we were dead, and I got released early. I didn't wait on a single table, so my manager bought me dinner.

As I sat at the bar eating, Grey's Anatomy was on the TV. I don't watch the show, but the bartender does, so we were watching and talking. Mostly watching, as the show was just starting.

On the screen comes Christina Ricci, and her name appears just then too.

I think to myself, Wow, it has been awhile since I've seen her. She looks cute.

Then I realize why I think she looks cute. She looks like TO.

Big baby doe eyes that hide a wicked intelligence. Short bobbed black hair with saucy bangs.

Just as I'm thinking, When did this become my type, from behind me comes a voice.

Does the volume work on that other TV?

I turn around to see what looks like Christina Ricci!

I've had weirder LA moments, so it comes as a surprise and not. As my eyes focus, I realize it isn't her, but a damn close facsimile.

What, I say.

The volume on that other TV? Does it work? I really want to watch this show, but I can't really hear it from here.

I turn to our bartender and yell, K can we get some volume, stat!

You see what I did there? I was being funny. Like it was a hospital. Grey's Anatomy. Sheesh.

I turn to her, smiling, thinking evil thoughts, but smiling. She smiles back.

We've got a woman in desperate need of TV here!

I thought I was pushing it there, but I didn't know what to say, and the first joke seemed to have worked.

K turned up the volume on both TVs, and I returned to my sandwich thinking, Go over there. Go talk to her. Do it. Do it now!

I noticed her move from the high table behind me to the end of the bar. There she sat, all alone. Curving from the stool to the bar, like a warped cello.

I tried to get myself off of my stool, and over to her. I told myself lies.

She's too tiny. I don't have an opening line. I can't compete with the show.

None of that was true. She wasn't too tiny, not to talk to. My opening line was, so tell me why this show is so great. I wouldn't have been competing with the show, in fact, it would have been the perfect thing to fill the awkward silences.

So, I told myself that I was just simply cowardly, and left.

Still, my body is making me do the things my mind is still afraid to contemplate. Very soon here, I guarantee my body will make me talk to a girl. My mind might be yelling no, but I will be there doing it.

I'm coming out. I'm emerging.

Won't those be such great stories.