What Would You Do For Funny

Last night, I bartended at the book function for my acting teacher.

He just released a book, naming the eight characters of comedy, and he had us all dressed in black, with one of the character names printed across our chest.

I was neurotic. Surprise, huh?

Well, I sure set up my bar like a neurotic. I had red wine on one side, white on the other. Even number of bottles each and in a design of two, then one, then two, and so on.

Next to that, heading into the middle of the table, I had a row of plastic glasses on each side. Then a picther of water on each side, then napkins, then four always poured red and white glasses in the middle. Everyone who came to the bar commented on how neurotic I was setting it all up. They loved it though, because they thought I was acting the part. I was just me.

One woman asked if I picked out the character name, or if they just gave me a random t-shirt. I told her that SS, our teacher, assigned us characters, based on our type and personality. I said I guess I'm neurotic. She said, so what, everyone is.

It was fun to be the bartender. Everyone is cool to you, and, next to the book writer, I was the most important person there. I was joking with everyone, in my smart ass manner, and having a ball.

A couple of guys hit on me. My teacher is gay, and there seemed to be a preponderance of subscribers to the lifestyle there last night. I am ok with guys hitting on me, I have gone through it most of my life. A life in the theatre just brings that on. I can handle it. So, I would just joke around with them, and then get back to business. They usually would get the hint, and leave. Maybe they realize I'm straight, maybe they think I'm not interested. Either way, they stop.

Well, one guy kept it up. At the top of the night, he asked for one of everything. I said, a glass of red, a glass of white, and a glass of water? He said, No, one glass of all of them.

We joked about how delicious that would be, and just what color it would be. I said the cab would hold the purple, he chose rosy. Now you know why I thought he was gay.

Well, he kept up the joke everytime he came by.

The final time, he said he wanted to see me drink it. Well. I am not only ready at a moments notice to do ANYTHING for a laugh, I am also a bit of an alcoholic, and was ready for a drink. So, I poured cab, then chardonnay, then water into a glass. Filled the glass, which was the size of a rocks glass, and held it up to him and said cheers. He thought I intended for him to drink it, but I explained that cheers was a sort of toast. We clincked glasses, and I drank. I downed the entire thing in one shot. He watched, and after said, now that's funny.

He started to ask my name and how I was connected here. He has already told me his name, but I forgot it, and in trying to not reveal I forgot it, I never asked his. After I told him I was a student of SS's, he seemed interested. I asked him what he did, and he said manager. I asked if he was SS's manager, and he said no, just a manager. He then said he had a fairly sizable pool of talent, but no one for sitcom. I told him I had a sizable amount of talent, but no manager. He said, funny how that happens. Then he asked my name again, including my last name, and said goodnight.

So, if somehow I get a manager out of this, that would be so way totally freaking get outta here you gotta be kidding me cool.

Ah, it's all going along just as I never planned.