Perchance to Dream

Nothing much to write about today.

Did have a good conversation with my Nubian Goddess last night, but it is mostly still on the theme of who am I now. For a bit now, I have felt like my life was stopped, and I was thrown into someone else's life. I knew what to do in this person's life, but it wasn't mine. I wondered whose life it was. Now, when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, not expecting to see the new look, I am startled to see someone there I didn't expect. Then, I realized who it was. This is the person whose life I have absconded. This fleshy faced, bristle headed rube is who I am supposed to pretend to be.

Well, my Nubian Goddess, rather than tell me that the rube and I are in fact the same man, said go with the rube. She loves the new cut, as all women do. She in fact wants it shorter, and dyed. Not happening. She said that after her divorce, she felt the same way, and thought that the person who she became, not by choice, was actually the cooler, more who she wanted to be person. So, she stayed with it.

I must admit, this guy is more who I wanted to be. He does a show. He is paid to act every so often. He is a regular in an expensive acting class. He has women complimenting him. Eight months ago, I never would have said that about myself.

So, if this is the guy, then where is it going?

Well, (HARP MUSIC BEGINS HERE) maybe the future holds a further trip down this path. Maybe, through connections in class, Rube is able to get an agent, one who believes in him and actively tries to make life good for him (HARP MUSIC HITS A SOUR NOTE, PAUSES, THEN RESUMES).

Rube finds a couple of acting gigs in small roles on TV. Nothing huge. People at work miss it, but a few catch it, and say, hey great job. There is a party amongst friends, and all laugh and enjoy the momentary success of Rube.

More auditions come. Some successful, some not. Finances get a little easier. Those new headshots are no problem now. The acting class is set, not desperately grabbed for week after week. More time is taken off from the restaurant for theatre. The people at the restaurant are sad to see him go, but he stops in every now and again, and gets a bit too drunk, and hits on one of his female friends. She smiles, and lets him down easy.

Finally, a pilot comes around, and he auditions for it. He doesn't get it, but the casting director loves him, and calls him in all the time for other work. He actually starts a retirement fund. Buys a new car. Not new to him, but actually fucking NEW (HARP MUSIC IS AT A FULL CRESCENDO NOW).

Then comes another pilot. The perfect role. Rube is hot in the audition. Success. He moves out of the cramped, but happily lived in apartment, and buys a small house, or possibly a really cool condo (HARP MUSIC PLAYS A BIT OF VAN HALEN, REALIZES IT SUCKS, AND RETURNS TO CONVENTIONAL SOUNDTRACK MATERIAL).

Pilot becomes show. Show becomes hit. Show runs for six years. Small movie roles come Rube's way. He challenges himself in different roles. Some work out well, others get panned. Nevertheless, acting goes forward.

All the while, the casual dating scene heats up, and a spry girl who laughs a lot, and thinks askew comes into Rube's life. She doesn't know who he is at first, and they laugh about his assumed "fame". Together, they share a love supreme. Financially secure, he helps her out with artistic endeavors of her own, and all the while they plan for a family. The kids (No more than two) come, and happiness is exponentially raised.

Rube is now making his own films, and the children are raised in a pleasant community far, far away from LA. The happy couple look at life and laugh about the struggles they both once knew.

They retire, occasionally doing the odd pet project. They throw themselves in to supporting their children's interests.

They die. Peacefully. Him first. Liver disease. She, a year later.

(HARP MUSIC IS IN FULL TEAR INDUCING MODE)

The children donate money to a museum in their parents names, and a brick of marble is etched with Rube and his wife's name for posterity.

(HARP MUSIC FADES) The End.

Not discussed in this story: the affair Rube has seven years into the relationship, the lawsuit after he backs out of a movie directed by Frankie Muniz, the fact that the second child has a severe case of depression which costs Rube thousands in therapy bills, and the misguided attempt to build a dream house in the Fiji.