What do I say.

So, my friend is now blogging. I think it is great. Good luck.

I encourage anyone who happens to read this, if you are not writing, do so now. Anything. Just write. It helps.

So, I haven't really written lately, but I do mentally. You see, with my big, gay roommate around, it is hard to muster up the private thoughts. Plus, I don't want him to read over my shoulder. This is the one disadvantage to having my computer still out in the common room, rather than in my bedroom where it wouldn't fit.

He is gone now. Spinning discs at a leather gay bar. I met the bartender the other night. He is huge, and buff, and tatooed, and shaven head, and prissy. Leather bar? Hello! Mary Tyler Moore had more testosterone.

Funny, though, in our little scenario, I am the womanish one. I'm smaller. I'm less handy. I'm indescisive. I'm sensitive. I'm the one who is worried about everyone's emotions. I'm the one not getting laid all the time.

While having our talks over the last weekend, he told me that what really helped him get over his divorce was getting laid. I reminded him that he was getting laid BY MEN! It is a little easier that way. You don't just GO OUT and get laid by women. MEN YES, women no.

He told me I needed to be a bit more predatory. In a good way, but still. He also told me that I needed to stop being the woman in my relationships. How humiliating to have your big, gay roommate tell you to stop being the woman, and him being right.

But, right he is. Not in the eyes of the pope, but in relationships, he's got me.

I tend to get into relationships where the other needs me to fix them. When I do, they tire of me. Their need is, what I believe to be, love. In fact, it is just their need. Now, I knew that before he told me, but I had only just discovered it, and had only just discussed it with my therapist. According to BM, all my friends knew it for a while.

All of my friends also, apparently, have been plotting to get me laid.

They have had discussions on the topic. Also, my co-workers, I come to find. Their discussions were not so involved, but were still of the "it should happen" variety.

So, my friend TH has taken it upon himself to complete this goal. He would be the one to do it, too. He is like Sam Malone with a smart sense of humor. He tells me that I am funny, and smooth, and good looking, and that is what women want. He tells me to go out at night thinking, there is a woman out there who wants to have sex with me.

I told him to be prepared for raw disappointment.

First of all, I am funny, but in a self deprecating way. Did I really need to tell you that? So, if I entertain the girl for two hours while getting enough liquor into her, my brand of entertainment will be two hours of "look what a dork I am". Then, I have to suddenly switch gears and get this girl to suddenly believe that she wants me naked and squirming around on top of her?! That's like having a burger stand called Mad Cow's.

Add onto that, the terrible combination of absolutely no self esteem.

Those who are funny, with self esteem, get everything. Those who aren't funny, but with self esteem, get somethings. Those who are funny, with no self esteem, get only laughs. Those who aren't funny, and no self esteem, get porn.

So, I am going to have to deal with that for a bit. To be honest, I would love to get laid now. To be realistic, I don't know if I will. I also have an incredibly high standard that I usually set, but it has been a while, and principles and morals dissolve quickly next to a willing body.

Oh, and everyone so far LOVES the shirts! Good buy!