Wanted: Divorcees

My Nubian Goddess is back from Ethiopia. I gave her a ride home, and we had our first long talk in a long while.

The conclusion: date divorcees.

She totally understood my feeling of disconnect. She said she still feels it sometimes, most recently while just in Africa. She said she thinks it is the denial of divorce. As much as the both of us were instigators (her even more than I), we still lament the end of our marriages, something that when entered into, we both thought would last a lifetime. We both hold marriage high, and both mourn the loss of the idea, if not the actual person attached to the idea.

I told her slightly about my flirtations with E, but I kept it anonymous. She laughed at the halting way it is proceeding. She said she did the same thing, then pulled way back, and though she dates, hasn't really let herself back out there.

She wanted to know what lesson I have learned from my marriage. I told her I believe my lesson is not mistaking rescuing some one from their emotional flaws as love. Both times I have been in long term relationships, the women have grown away from me emotionally before we seperated. Both times also, when I met the women, they were, how do you say, fucked up.

She said that was probably a good lesson. She said she isn't sure of hers, but she does know that she is inexplicably attracted to the mentally ill.

I thought we would make a great couple.

Kidding.

At the end though, I was saying that I should date women who have been divorced, because they can relate. Like she said, the stages and complexities are profound, and the average person can't comprehend them until it happens to them. Sorry all you wanna bes out there.

She made me feel better.