Crushing Hard

A friend used the term crushing to describe me the other day. It means that I am obsessing about a person, with a romantic tinge to the obsession.

He was telling me to stop crushing on the waitress at work. I told him I had already decided to let that go, because it can't go any further. She was just a floatation device I grabbed onto while drowning.

Plus, I have another.

Last week at rehearsal (well, actually the show we went to instead of rehearsal) I met T.

She is a very funny, pixie like girl. CUTE! Nice body, wicked sense of humor, bubbly.

She sat down next to me at a table and ordered a scotch on the rocks, and then made fun of me. I hadn't even gotten to know her name yet, and already I loved her. I told her too. Said that she made me feel small and weak, and that I was going to fall in love with her. She thought I was kidding. Later I found out she has a boyfriend, then he joined her at the bar. She had been making fun of the male waiter all night, and when she told her boyfriend the joke, I leaned in and told him to watch out because someone might try to steal her away from him. They both thought I was talking about the waiter. I meant me.

Then I forgot about her. Not totally. I did look up her picture on our website of troupe members.

Until tonight.

I was supposed to miss my rehearsal to go to my murder mystery show, which was having a special rehearsal. I did think, oh, I won't get to see her. That saddened me. Then my mystery show got canceled, and I ran, seriously RAN, over to rehearsal for improv. She was there.

At the break, we talked. I really think she was kind of flirting with me. She had a Pepsi bottle, and kept twirling it in her mouth. At one point, she was doing it unconciously, I pointed it out to her, and she did it bigger. Then, I grabbed her and started to lead her out the door, saying, Lets go hang out somewhere private.

See that. That's me being charming. Witty, huh?

Still, the rest of the night, every time there was something funny in a scene, we would look at each other to see the other laugh. If I'm doing it to her, feeling like I am, then what does it mean if she is doing it to me?

Anyway, now that rehearsal is over, I can't stop thinking about her. I so want to lay in bed with her and just poke fun of each other. Well, that's not all I want to poke, but this is a family blog. Yeah, right.

She has a real quirky quality, a total individualistic style that I love. It actually reminds me just a bit of how X used to behave when I first met her. Very out there, but funny. I remember thinking that X was one of the few girls that actually cracked me up. I wonder what ever happened to her sense of humor, because it is very diminished.

T, the pixie, certainly has the humor. I think that is what I need. A laugher. She would be more than that though, she would also be a performer. Listen to me, already working out the dynamics of our never going to happen relationship.

Oh, yeah. I'm crushing hard.