Instincts: A lesson in what to think

Animals have them at birth, and it tells them important things like where to find food, not to go into water, or that gophers are the stupid ones.

We are, after all, animals. Some far more than others, but all are ruled by their instincts. Here is how I know.

Music.

Probably the art form that all, everywhere, can easily access. Video can be just as powerful, but language can get in the way. For music, you don't need to understand what the singer is saying to feel the emotion. That explains Joe Cocker.

Music is where you tap into emotion, and my feelings have been telling me to tap. All week, I told you, I had been playing the Beck album, Sea Change, or as we all know it, his break up with that chick after eight years album. Each time it made me cry like a baby, but I still continued to play it. I needed to. My instincts told me to purge, and Beck is good purge, man. Goood purge!

Now, instincts can take it too far.

Shopping for pants at an Army surplus store yesterday, I found myself in a 3 by 4 changing room, pants around my ankles, when Phil Collins' Against All Odds song came on. In kicked the purge. Suddenly, my instincts to feel were trapping me in a cry jag in an Army surplus cube, with particles of inappropriate clothing, for crys and Army stores, off of me. Damn that emotion svengali, Phil Collins.

Also, they can turn situations around to serve you.

On my way to acting class today, where my new haircut needed to pass the final test, I popped in Death Cab For Cutie. Now, I was telling myself not to apologize for the cut before getting any feedback. I was going to be strong. DCFC, however, was kicking into a sad song, and that was kicking me into whoa is me mode. I instinctively knew that would weaken my strength, so I turned it off, and switched to a Suzzane Vega tune. Not the sort of choice that would make you think strong and happy, but it was that song where she pours milk in her coffee and goes, do do do do do. Plus, it was the version where those kids made it better by putting good music with it. So, anyways...

Instincts.

She says in the song, you know how you feel like someone is watching you. That too is instincts.

Ever drive along the freeway, and your jamming to a tune, and suddenly you know, you just know, the guy next to you is looking at you. So, you look and they look away real quick. What is that but instincts. How could you feel, actually feel, someone looking at you? You can't. It is instinctual.

Prediction.

I thought that my acting teacher might hate my new cut. The reason I thought it is, it makes me unready for auditions. I don't have a headshot, and can't market myself. He is big about being always ready for the industry.

However, I thought he might like it too. He pegged me as the neurotic, which, as I told before, was one of the deciding reasons to do this new cut. It fits the neurotic more than my last cut.

Well, in class the students, for the most part, liked it. Two people didn't, but one conceded to not hate it. The other just hates me, so why would she like the cut.

My teacher didn't know who I was. The assistant had to tell him. Then, all of a sudden, he could see me. He was shocked that a cut could so change someone. Then he told me he liked it. He said it fit the neurotic so much better than my last cut. I saw myself on tape and realized I do need just a bit more on top, not much, but to break an odd line in my profile that stands out on camera. He watched the tape, and said the same thing.

Instincts. I know when something is right. I can feel it. Even when people around me tell me, no, you are just being a pessimist, I know I am right. Generally, I know I'm right, and everyone else is wrong when I think it is something negative, and they all think positive, but occasionally, it is reversed.

Don't believe me?

Too bad. I know I'm right.