All rise?

So, last night at rehearsal, we did the soap opera as practice. We chose a different locale, and six people were assigned characters, and we worked on the pace to try and strive for tension.

It was much fun, and afterwards, we all said we should make the next Scandal! set in a particular place. Like General Hospital, or something along that line.

Then, since we were on the subject, we got to talking about the next Scandal!. Our director said that changes are going to be made to the next cast that he had originally assigned because after our last show on the 18th, he is going to move people up to the main company, Zebra.

That came as a shock to many of us, and it was the end of the night, so we stopped the conversation.

After, some of us went to the bar for drinks, and we were speculating on who would be moved up. One girl told me she was sad because the best guys would be going. She meant, PT, HW, and me.

Others said they thought that PT was a shoe in. Pretty many agreed HW was also. No one else thought I was.

What the fuck?

Why can't I seem to get the fricking respect I deserve? I know that this particular character I am doing isn't the greatest, but come on! I obviously know how to improvise, and am funny. I also go out of my way to do things for the company, like bring people every week, get someone to do the filming every week, and go out on the street and pass out flyers every week!

It pissed me off.

I talked to PT today, and he said that I was a shoe in. He is always in my corner. HW pretty much is too, but he would rather be funny than loyal, and it is funnier to make fun of, than to support. I'm sure though, if push came to shove, he would get behind me.

Now the burn.

If I do move up, as I am so indignant about it better be happening, then I won't get to see T. She just joined Yankee, and would have to do two shows before even qualifying. That would be like seven months. That would suck.

Of course, now that I think about it, she would be in the show on the same night as me, so we would see each other, just in performance mode, and then maybe after for drinks.

Ok. I'm good with that.

Lord knows, I have to keep seeing her, because it wouldn't be right for me to fall for someone available. Some one I might have a chance with. No. That would be awful. Better to heave over girls that have boys already.

I got a funny feeling I won't get that respect from others until I get it from myself first.

Shit.

That makes it just like happiness. Something I have to give me first, before others can also. That sucks.

Well, so much for happiness, love, and respect. Aw, who needs 'em.