I'm no Hunter

Sat and had a couple of drinks with a friend last night. He told me to be careful. I'm no hunter.

To catch you up, here is what happened.

My show went well. Really well. We have a great group of characters, and a lot of our regular audience came back to watch the opening. I feel myself like I had a tremendous show. Which is good cause the people at ACME are really focusing on me now. I can tell.

During the show, I notice that the girl is there by herself. That's a sign.

Afterwards, we had to take pictures, so I told her to meet my group, and hang out and have drinks til I got there.

Sitting in the bar with all of them, I believe it was obvious what was going on. My friend from last night said he could see that both of us were interested in the other. He had no idea about the previous night. He was so reading the energy, that while at the bar, he slipped me a mint under the table. Now is that a wing man, or what!

We stayed at the bar awhile, and then went to a cast party. The whole time, at both places, people were wanting to talk to me about how well the show went. I would talk with them, and I would be charming funny guy, and then I would return to my group.

Everytime that happened, this girl would get a bit peeved, and say go on and hit on her if you want.

I started thinking, my God, I haven't even kissed you yet, and you are acting like a jealous girlfriend.

When the night was ending, I walked her to her car. She started the conversation out with, We aren't making out.

OK

I figured she meant it, but I couldn't help hearing the implied, TONIGHT.

That was that.

Last night, as my friend and I talked about that, he said, You know that you are still married, right?

That took me by surprise. He then explained that, not only legally, but mentally, he felt like I was still married, and that maybe now is not the best time to be getting involved.

I told him I had no intention of having a relationship right now.

He then asked, well what is going on with that girl? He said it was obvious to him that she is shopping for a boyfriend. Not casual, permanent.

He asked if I had what it takes to use her, and knowing that it will hurt her, break it off?

I didn't say anything. This whole time, all I could focus on was the fact that I might be able to kiss someone. Seriously, my thougths were that innocent and shallow. No thought to what the consequences of a kiss might be. No thought to what I wanted after the kiss.

He said that as long as he has known me, I always give my heart. He then said, I couldn't and shouldn't do that right now. I am no hunter. This prey I must let go.

Can I stop what may already be in motion? Why can I not stop thinking about the kiss? Why am I still not thinking about the after?

Selfish.