Too many teeth

For about two weeks now, my jaw has been sore. It could be stress. I don't know.

It feels like my lower jaw fell out of place. Whenever I close my mouth, and the molars rest on each other, the muscles in my jaw tighten, like they are pulling the lower back into place to make the fit. The natural state of comfort now is to have my mouth open with the lower just a bit forward. Like some slack jawed dunderhead.

Ah, ok, boss, you know wat's best. I just wanna pet the lil doggy.

(That was my inner monologue of a slack jawed dunderhead. Kind of like Lenny from Mice and Men.)

So, this has me freaked out. Now, like I said, it could just be stress, and I think that my jaw doesn't fit anymore. Or it actually fell out of place. I just recently went to the dentist for the first time in many years, and in order to take the necessary x-rays, they manipulated me in horrible ways that can't be recounted in the presence of children. That might of unhinged me. Or maybe it is my new found aggresive technique to flossing that has my chopper swinging wide. Either way, it is distressing.

The problem lies in my imagination. I can forsee the only solutions being either two years of braces, at the low one time cost of thousands of dollars. That or the medical practice of breaking my jaw bone and resetting it in the proper place. Also very expensive, and the added downside of being only able to eat blended foods for months.

Probably the former.

It is the thousands of dollars part of that scenario that makes me reluctant to get help. Last night I felt the tightness and came up with a new way to alleviate the pain. I close my mouth and then stick both my hands into my mouth between the teeth and cheeks. Then I rub and push until everything is numb. Of course, I did this while driving 65 down the freeway. That means, since both hands were required, that I steered with my knees. Also, let's not forget I drive stick. I won't even begin to tell you what I used to shift.

That is the sort of scenario that would drive my wife crazy. She would get so upset at me that I would be going to these Ralph Kramden extremes rather than just go and pay for some doctoral relief. Hey, I think it is charming. America loves guys who fly down freeways with both their mitts shoved into their jaw. If I had filmed it, I could right now save the slumping box office.

Besides, there is so much stuff I want and need to buy, that I still don't have money for yet. Stuff I need before the roomie moves in, and stuff that would just make life easier. I'm not mentioning specifics now that I know there are several people out there who were considering the purchase of a coffee maker.

You are all very sweet, but let me space out my taking advantage of you, so that it isn't a pressing thought in my own mind.

I have enough internal pressing right now.