Men are from Mars, Women are from Venice

I just listened to an episode of This American Life. I love that show, and would love to one day contribute to it, but for now, I am an avid fan.

The episode I decided to listen to was called Reunited. Uh, oh, what am I doing? I'm certain, I'm not, I'm certain, I'm not.

Well, sure enough there is the story I was hoping for: couple divorce, then somehow reunite. True to This American Life, it is both touching and hysterical.

The couple are an Iranian couple, who in their teens were an arranged marriage. He is the typical alpha male who is never wrong, she is meek and miserable. They move to America.

Then she divorced him. At age 46. Now, a new life, right? Well, yes, but...

She is miserable being single, because she is still meek, and never leaves the house. He is an alpha male, so he figures he must go out and get a conquest. But how? He never did this before. So, he buys a book. That's right, Men are from Mars, Women are from...

The thing is, he has such a thick accent, that when he tells the title of the book for the radio listener, it comes out Venice, instead of Venus.

I laughed so hard. Then, it struck me. My God. That's my truth.

Here I am, in LA, and have always felt like an outsider. I still consider Chicago "home", even though I don't think I ever want to go back. I find myself thinking about the women out here as stereotypically LA, which is very much also Venice.

Then I loved the fact that the Iranian man learned information from this book, but due to his inherent self, when he tries to relate the information, it comes out wrong, and becomes misinformation.

You see, I think that right now, I am just smart enough to be very stupid. As I gained knowledge through life, I always would be aware, with every incremental leap, that there was now that much more to know, beyond my grasp. In other words, I was becoming smart enough to know how much I didn't know.

Now after 5 years of couples/individual therapy, have I learned enough to react, but not enough to know I don't know what I am doing?

To be fair, I have never been one to make a decision and then feel it made. I always ponder the other side, then switch and ponder the first side. That is me. I guess you would call that a waffler.

So, just because I have these thoughts now, there is no gaurantee that they are my determined thoughts. I think that is why I was so surprised by my quick action when this all began.

Maybe that is an indication of the new me emerging. Sure of thought, and quick to respond. Determined to have what he wants, and bold enough to go after it.

Or maybe not.

The Iranians, after all, got back together. Now, he listens, and she tries to be more herself. They are happy, happier than they ever were before. But still, ultimately, the same.