My guy

For the entire eight years I have lived here, I have always gone to the same mechanic. He's my guy.

I liked him from the start when I had to smog test my old metro, and I asked him if some job needed to be done for the test, and he said no. If a mechanic says a job doesn't need to be done, keep him. They don't often come honest.

The next time I knew he was the guy for me was the next time he had to work on the old metro. He told me it was a piece of shit, and I should get a new car.

Ok, I thought, we think alike.

Today, I put too much oil in my new metro. Idiot move. I didn't check the oil before adding, and went a quart too far. The car started to seize up and blow white smoke out of the exhaust. I took it to my guy.

He told me I put too much oil in. He made a metaphor of how much I can drink, and when I've had too much. If he was talking water, ok. If he was talking booze, well then, back off buddy, I'm the expert there.

So, he had his guy work on my car.

Now, after eight years, he has come to know me.

So, right away he asks how my other car is.

The jeep. Uh, well, actually that is my wife's car now.

How is she, he asks.

Ok, time to break the news.

We are divorced.

I hate breaking the news to people who don't really know you, but know you enough to ask questions like that. They either take it harder than they should, or they take it entirely the wrong way.

I start to launch into my 'were friends' speech, but he wants to know what happened and how long we were together.

I tell him. He is sitting down with me, and I'm feeling like a bud more than a customer.

Then he says, too bad you let her go. She was nice. You don't find that in a lot of girls. These days, girls... You are gonna have a tough time finding someone like her.

Dude?!

I know we are sitting around like buds, and we have known each other for a while now, but don't rain on my parade!

Even my true friends who know better and agree that I am going to have a tough time don't say that to me.

He got a call, and walked away, so I took the opportunity to get on the phone and end our conversation.

When he came out, he waved to me, so I got off the phone and walked over thinking he had news of my car.

Instead, when I get to him, he starts up again about women and how tough it is for a guy. He is married eight years, and his wife is considerably younger than him. He also asks me who moved out of our house. Her or me.

When I tell him she moved out, he asks, oh, do you live in a crappy place?

No. I got the good end of the deal there.

Why must the man always lose? Why does society always think the guy is the one who is going to get taken?

Even when X and I sent out our email notifying all that we planned to split amicably, a lot of people came to me assuming that she had been cheating and that I had gotten dumped.

My guy ended up having to get back to work, thank god.

My car is better for the trip, but my ego and reputation got into a fender bender.