The Last

Tonight, Monday, was the Golden Globes.

I worked, and didn't really watch any of it. Co-workers told me of developments, but I ignored.

I think this is the year of me rejecting those things I would normally adhere to.

You see, I loved the Golden Globes. I would always take off of work, and have a party. Never a huge party, because it is only the Golden Globes, but enough to have a fun time. I remember last years party.

Mostly, I remember it because it is the last time I remember X and I having sex.

Not that we didn't have sex after that. I'm sure we did. It's just that you don't have sex thinking this will most likely be the last time. So, you don't catalogue the moment as important, or unusual.

I do know that before we broke up, we had not had sex in quite awhile. After we broke up, I tried to remember the last time we had sex. Not the date, but the feel, the moment. I couldn't remember it. All I could remember in terms of the feel and moment was the night of the Golden Globes.

We were having a party.

My friend CL had just undergone ankle surgery, and couldn't get around. He couldn't drive or walk very well, and was very house ridden. He would always invite me over to play video games.

Being an awesome friend, I invited him to our party, and offered to both pick him up and drive him home. I also told him I would come by early and play those video games with him.

I did just that.

We had our party, and it was fun. X would always enjoy this party, and she did that night. Then, I said goodbye, and drove CL home.

On the return to my house, X called to see if I was heading back. I remember that was strange. She never really was the type to constantly check on me, so this call seemed odd. She was a bit drunk, so I just coughed it up to the booze, but I can still hear the mischievousness in her voice, which tipped me off to something odd to come.

When I got home, I opened the door to find the house dark with many candles lit. X greeted me with a huge hug, wearing nothing under a very sexy, sheer dress. I knew exactly what was happening, and was thrilled. We put a U2 disc into the player, and made love on the living room floor amongst the flickering lights and the hard driving tunes.

That was an unusual night. We had not made love like that in nearly 5 years. It burned into my memory, and six months later, it was the last I could recall.

Tonight, I couldn't help but think about that.

I don't want to take two steps forward, and then, one step back. I want to stay on the footing I have had lately.

But I can feel it crumbling slightly.

I wish I was still married. I mean, I am, but I mean, legitimately. Maybe not to X, but married.

Anyway, those are the Globes for me now. No wonder I avoided them.