At the bar...

Met a group of friends at the bar. Well, to be sure, I knew a couple of the people. The others were people that my friend knew. He and his wife were engaged in conversation with them when I arrived, so I sat down by my other friend and started to talk.

He asked me, how is the divorce going?

I wasn't quite sure how to answer that. I asked in what sense. He didn't elaborate. Just repeated, a bit more annoyed, how is the divorce going?

I searched for an answer.

I told him that so far, it still felt like the right thing, but had not yet produced any results.

He wondered what results I was expecting.

I said, happiness.

He then looked at me, like he was seeing me for the first time, and said, you're looking for your soulmate. You just got divorced, and you're already looking for your soulmate.

I must admit, that is correct. I fully realize that it will take a while. Soulmates aren't a dime a dozen. So, I am willing to give it time. Plus, although I am looking for my soulmate, I do think I might be questioning what that exactly means right now. Just becuase I don't know what I want, doesn't mean I don't want it right now.

Like I have said before, I had just gotten to the place where I realized marriage was something special that I wanted, and partly because of the specialness of it, I realized I was in the wrong one. So, now that I am out of that one, I am ready for the specialness of the right one. Easier said than done, I know, but we are talking feelings here, not action.

The other night, I watched my friend TH go into his hitting on women routine. He is a pro at it, and I got an unusual opportunity to witness this, as two women joined us at the bar at work. Watching him work at it, and it was work, was revealing in a couple of ways. One, it is exhausting work trying to get super acquainted with someone in a very short amount of time. I was tired just watching him. Second, I don't think I am the kind of guy who connects with a woman by design. It is something that has always just happened to me. I am sort of a mix of preparedness meets opportunity. Rather than seek out, and impress the woman I want, I meet someone, and can be charming, and it goes from there. It is a fine difference, but I think you know what I mean.

I don't think my friend tonight was satisfied with our conversation, but little did he know, it was one of the most real conversations about my divorce I have had in a long time.