Can't Shake It

Feel like crap today.

Have all day.

No particular reason. Had a fun night last night, and the show went well the night before.

Still, ugh.

When I get in a sad mood, I always focus on the lack of someone to curl up with. I dream, here alone, that all I need to solve my malaise is a woman whom I can wrap my arms around, and have her run her fingers through my hair as we share a glass of whatever and whisper about nothingness and the like.

Yeah, the cure to all my woes!

I really wish my financial situation was much better. My job doesn't want to give me the time I need off. My new show, the murder mystery, is trying to schedule me for shows but I can't do them due to my improv show. The only thing that is happy with me is my improv show, but I pay to do that.

Why can't I get paid to do that. Then, I could leave the restaurant, and do the mystery tour whenever, and still have the money to go do whatever the hell I want.

That's all I ask for... the ability to do whatever the hell I want. Is that so wrong?

It's not like I'm asking for immortality, or world peace, or something ridiculous like that. No. I just want supreme power over the events in my own personal life, and those pretty girls around me. Yeah, I have to have the power to manipulate the pretty girls around me, cuz always having to impress them is not really what I enjoy, and to still get them and not have to impress them first, as my whatever I want wishes imply, will require supreme power over their feeble, unnecessary brains.

That and a blue convertible. One of those real long ones from the sixties. That wouldn't really be having the ability to do whatever I want, so I would need that.

Or is it? Does having the ability to do whatever I want mean that if I want to go for a drive in a cool car, then the car would just be there for me, in order to provide the cool ride? Because if that is how this is going to work, then I am really wishing for this. This whole do what I want thing is really sweet.

I recommend it.

Then again, I am the guy who recommended walking around a city in nothing but your underwear. It is very liberating, but I didn't really get a following. Either people just don't put any honest stock in what I have to say, or I just don't have that crazy religious cult kind of charisma. You know, the kind where twenty women who all live in the same room are sleeping with you, and are ok with it. And they carry rifles!

No. I don't have that.

I have more the crazy, did you see what that guy is wearing kind of charisma. Not that it is really charisma so much as it is, oh, puzzle inducing magnetism.

Do you think girls are hot for puzzle inducing magnetism? Like drop their pants in the bathroom of a party hot?

Some how, that seems like the ultimate in seduction. If you could get a girl to lay you in the bathroom of a party. I don't actually think I would enjoy it, but it is the ultimate. There is no denying that.

You know, years from now, when this blog has out lasted me even, this will be the page they return to over and over again. Whole semesters at Stanford will be devoted to studying the links in inspiration. Spoken word plays will be developed from the transcripts of my mumblings. Thin, black clothed guys with scraggy facial hair will seduce uptight bespectacled girls in fuzzy purple sweaters by referencing the part about charisma.

Your welcome all. Glad I could be of service.

This is actually helping. I better not read it and lose the feeling.