'Tis Pity She's Divorced

Went out with some friends tonight. Got to talking about being divorced. They were surprised that we had come to that decision, but they listened. Then, one said that I was lucky.

LUCKY!

You see, we have some friends who got divorced, and She is having a hard time with it. She didn't want to be divorced, even though it was a mutual decision, and the right thing to do. Still, She thinks all is ok, but she isn't ok, and everyone talks about her with a massive amount of pity.

I don't want that. I don't think I am getting that, but I am being compared to that. Ok, so my divorce will be amicable, and not a blood letting. Yes, it is an easy divorce. I know that. Still, even though I want this, as the proper thing to do, it isn't easy. There are times when everything comes crashing down. But, you can't say that cuz you have the EASY divorce. Look, I don't want everyone to be nice to me and pity me behind my back, but I also would like to have people realize that this fucking sucks, even if I asked for it.

I sat at the bar tonight, and watched a cute girl get hit on. I imagined me doing the hitting, and then all went weird. I am lonely. I want to lie next to someone, naked, and just feel them. I want someone to smile a private smile when they look at me. However, I think I need a long time before any of that happens. What I crave, might just be the worst thing for me right now.

My friend, to end the heavy divorce topic, said that all I needed was to put my hand on some girl's ass.

That might be true. But, what feelings would I have to deal with then?