Release

I ain't getting no love here.

I recently had a return bout of TO.

I hadn't ever really gotten her off my mind, and with the new girl fizzing slightly, I had been thinking more and more about her.

Saw her show Friday night, and was thunderstruck. She's great. She's sexy. She's funny. Damn.

Then, the next night, she came to see my show. In the bar after wards, she was super complimetary, and demanding to know more about the rumors that I was dating someone.

She seemed possesive, and yet, also vulnerable. She was drunk, but not sloppy. Just enough to speak the heart.

Or so I thought.

I weighed my thoughts on Sunday, put out feelers to friends who chastised me, and decided to give it a go.

I asked God to either release me from it all, or make it happen. I thought make it happen was the choice.

Called her on Monday, and asked her out. She said NO.

NO!

Doesn't think people at the same theatre should date. Admitted it was a lame excuse.

What could I do? I said it WAS lame, and hung up.

So much for the make it happen option.

So much for release.

Now, she fills my thoughts again, and tortures me in my dreams.

Now, the diminish on the other girl seems magnified.

I did ask the other girl out for another date. Try to just be in the now and not lead on, but still have some fun.

We'll see. I feel like a lying dirtbag.

I just need some release. I don't know how it will come, but please, oh please, come soon.