Less Is More, More Is Less

So, mid month post.

Still dating the girl. We only get to see each other once a week, and we have to skip this week because her family is in town.

Things are going great with her. She is fun, and intelligent, and she compliments me all the time, which I've come to find is odd, and not familiar. I like it. I'm not able to handle it, but I like it.

The thing is, I think she is falling for me hard. I don't know if I am falling for her though. I enjoy our time together, and I look forward to seeing her (the beast that I am), but I also don't think she revs me up like I would like someone to do. She makes me feel good about myself, so I continue, and nothing about her is distasteful or a deal breaker; I just don't see a long term here, and I don't want to mislead her if she is seeing that.

However, I do concede I might be sabotaging because I am gun shy. So, whenever I'm with her, all I try to do is enjoy the moment and nothing more. It works. I can see her getting moony eyed, and I just smile and let it be. Then, alone, I worry that I'm going to settle for something so as to avoid hurting this great person, or lead her on and then drop the bomb.

We'll see.

Writing, another resolution, has been difficult. I'm certainly not writing here much. Twice a month, and that is a tough job to maintain.

My sketch writing has been weak as of late. I had a conversation with the director ( a good friend) as to what he thought of my stuff, and he says a lot of it is funny, just flawed.

We figured out a sort of format for me to go forward, so let's see if that works.

I opted not to go on the anti depressants. Some people argued for it, some against it. In the end, I realized that lately I had risen out of my depression, and I wanted to give that a clean chance, and to try and figure out what took me out, as well as what kept me in it. If it returns before I figure that out, or if I figure it out, but it doesn't work, I'll probably go on them.

Right now, as in all things, I'm just trying to do what I'm doing, with slight goals, but not much thought about the future.