A Wish Amongst The Fog

Went to go see one of my castmates' show tonight. Good time. Fun show, and HW was there watching as well, so we hung out at the bar after.

Driving home, I came down a section of Beverly Blvd. which I love. It is between Highland and Vine, and it is a long stretch of green. A country club flanks the street on both sides, and a tall green covered wall keeps people like me from peering in. Despite the offense, it is a nice line of non-sprawl.

Tonight, there was a fog. Just enough to give that ethereal feeling from right out of a movie. The street lights blared down, illuminating the wispy dreamlike state. The street is an elongated S curve there as well, which only adds to the effect of becoming lost in another world.

Passing through, I indulged my imagination, and let myself pretend I was in another world. Then the strangest thing happened.

The other world I thought I might fall into was actually the past.

I thought of a time from my childhood. Back when all of my mom's siblings were still alive, and young. All five of them lived within a short distance of one another. We all were very close. I was the first of the next generation, so I remember it better than most. I also remember a time when most of the others weren't parents, and therefore led a more out of the house life. Of course, they ended up at our house. That was what I thought of. Whenever they would come over, they would just walk in. No knocking. No locks. I would be sitting there, in the kitchen say, and all of a sudden one of my uncles would enter the room. It would only be slightly startling, but the best thing about it is it wasn't really. You got to a point where you half expected someone to just show up whenever. They would just walk in. They were family.

That is what I was dreaming of. That is the kind of relationships I would like to cultivate.

It is arguably harder to do that in this time, and place, where we use locks, or live in buildings that have security doors. Even my actual family, the very people I was just talking about, don't do that anymore.

But, it seemed nice. Simple. Open. Loving.

I've built a family of sorts here. My close friends have become more important to me than my actual family even. But we aren't family. We don't treat each other with that same openess. In fact, several of us don't really get along. We hang out, but there is a difference. If push came to shove, I'm sure a couple of friendships would be the victim.

Which is probably what happened to my family, actually.

I wonder. Can relationships really last at such a level of intimatcy? For a sizable length? I wonder.