The wrong part of me is numb

The other night I pulled something in my back. Nothing new. I have frequent back pain, I have a guy, he helps me, all good.

This one, however, was unusual, in that, I felt a shooting pain down my right leg. First time for that. As the night progressed, so did the pain in my back and leg.

Then I awoke, about 3am with intense pain. Plus, my whole leg was numb. I thought maybe I had been in the wrong position, and shifting would help, but alas, as the hours passed, there was no relief or change.

That's when my brain started to do its job. It panicked.

I haven't had such great luck this summer, and I thought, with my numb leg, that I was about to take that a step (pun not included) further. I decided that I was going to wake up paralyzed.

Who thinks that? Who actually thinks, OK, now I will need a wheelchair.

At 4am, I made a mental list of the appropriate people to call to inform them I no longer had the use of my legs (the disease had already spread). It takes a certain kind of person to be awoken with paraplegia. Not a job for Mom. Maybe a best friend, but generally I would recommend someone not too close to you, so that they don't panic and are able to help you, since you went through the trouble of crawling to the phone.

I had decided that I should not get a motorized wheelchair, because it would be tough dating as an invalid, but if I got a manual wheelchair, at least, I could build my upper body strength, and look, and then maybe have an edge over other
top-light "walkers".

I fretted over my career, knowing now that there aren't too many restaurants that hire leg free waiters. Maybe, I thought, I could be the interactive dessert cart at a real fancy place. Another rugala, Mrs. Speilberg?

As the night passed, I went in and out of conciousness. I also slept some. When I awoke in the morning, all was fine, if maybe a bit stiff.

If it wasn't for this brain of mine, I might just have been a functioning human.

Oh well, next life.