Hollywood Nights

Great day yesterday.

Started out with lunch with a friend, and he bought. He has been on Unemployment for six months, but still felt the need to buy ME lunch. I told him that some time when he is seventy, he is going to get hungry and be all like, Damn that curly haired fuck.

Afterwards, I did laundry, and normally while washing, I read a magazine or book, but this time I took my new iPod mini. I absolutely love that thing. My other friend put a number of songs on it, it holds 260, and I just tuned in and tuned out. Really, listening to the Stones and Shins and Handsome Family put me in the mood to move, so I left the laundry and went walking. I really hate walking by myself, but if you have music, it is like you are walking with someone who won't shut-up, but they are so cool, you don't mind. I'm pretty certain a couple of girls smiled at me while I walked, but it could be they wanted to steal my iPod, or maybe they thought that my singing along out loud was humorous.

A girl I work with was having a show at the IO (Improv Olympics, but they can't call it that anymore), so I went to see it with one of my castmates. He is 22 years old, and gorgeous. I'm not saying that like some big queen, he really turns womens heads. It is like being in a diet soda commercial. Strutting down Hollywood Blvd. with him needs a disco soundtrack. That is, if there is a close-up on him, then the camera pulls back to reveal me with him and the record scratches to a halt.

When we were walking, this little brunette came walking past us, and I pointed her out to him. Not smart. Don't find someone interesting, and then tell someone better looking about them. Especially when he is also young and funny. Then I have no tools, no power.

As we were approaching the building my old improv teacher was there and she was looking right at us, but didn't see us. My friend said, How can she not recognize you, you have the most identifiable hair of anyone on the street. And on Hollywood Blvd. that is saying something!

Then some girl in a maroon low cut top with swinging big boobs came out to say hi. She brought us inside and, sure enough, she is sitting with the little brunette! Introductions went around, and the brunette says to me...

HER: My name is Angie, but I just met you, so you can call me Angela.

ME: Well, I just met you, so you can call me Mr. Tony.

HER: I only call men Mr. when I sleep with them.

ME: Well, then you can call me Mr. Tony.

I thought it was funny and flirty, but she stopped talking to me. Too much?

My friend's show was solid, very funny. She was doing the same format as we are doing now, and I didn't want to go do our show after seeing that.

One of her castmates talked to my friend right before the show, and I tried to introduce myself, but she totally walked away. I waved her off, and she realized what happened and tried to come back, but I told her to just go on, that I was busy now trying to find a new ego, because my old one broke.

After the show that girl came and talked to me and my young friend. I thought, rightly so, that she was interested in him, but after a bit, she started grilling me about myself. She wanted to know how old I was. I told her old enough to know better, but young enough not to give a damn. She persisted.

I hate that part. I don't want to be the guy who lies about his age, but people really see you differently when they perceive you as old.

I told her 29. She bought it. Then I told her 24. She actually started to buy that, but was put off by my huge smile at her buying 29. Finally, I said 30. She said she just wanted to know some info about me in case she wanted to set me up with a friend. She just needed to know things like age and sexual preference. That stopped me.

I said, You need to know my sexual preference? It isn't obvious!? My young friend could not stop laughing. He finally managed the word women, and she got nervous and said, I thought so, but you never know.

I left that conversation and made my way over to my teacher. She was sitting at the bar, and I sat down next to her. I had never told her that I was getting divorced, and she was always kind enough to inquire after my wife. As I sat, she made a frown and looked at me and said, How are you doing?

I knew right then that someone had told her. I said, So, what do you know about my personal life? Then launched into the routine, I'm fine, and you are going to be fine too, so don't worry about me. She kept the frown on the whole time we talked about it, and finally I asked her why she was frowning. She said it was sad. I asked if it was sad that a marriage was ending, or did she believe I was the one left. That actually threw her. I jumped on it.

You think I was the one left! What? I couldn't be the one who left!? I'm not good enough to leave a marriage!?

She stammered and laughed, but I think that is what she was thinking.

When we left the place, my young friend said that the girl asking me all the age questions wanted to know if she could set me up with swinging boobs. She wanted me to make out with her, because she is dating a guy, but isn't sure she likes him, and the question girl figures if she makes out with a different guy, that will help her decide. The real pathetic part of the story was, I considered it.

We went and did our show, and it actually went well. When the show ended, we all stood backstage for a bit before moving. I think we were all so shocked at having done a good show, we didn't know what to do next. Finally, we just left.

Went and drank with my friends, and went back to one of their apartments and got high like a seventeen year old. The supreme giggles descended on me. All night, I laughed with my friend's giggly wife. That was fun. Stayed out until 4.

Old enough to know better, but young enough not to give a damn!